Who Will You Be?

Hello, it's been a while. Life is crazy. I should be doing homework right now. Or I should be practicing the piano. But I feel like it's important for me to write this blog post, because last week I realized something I've never realized before. I've been taught it my whole life, but it didn't mean anything to me until I was sitting on a train looking at everyone's shoes. I learned something I can't quite put in words. I can try to describe it by saying that it doesn't matter what you wear or what language you speak or how many pictures you post to Instagram in a day, but that doesn't quite cut it. I learned that life is so much more than how I am perceived.

Last week I was in Paris. Before my trip I was stressing. I was about to visit the fashion capital of the world! I'm the sort of person who hardly ever does her hair before school, let alone put on makeup or find matching socks. But that's not to say I'm not self-conscious about the way I look, and many days I would look at myself in the hall mirror and think, "If only I had woken up a few minutes earlier today I could have put on mascara," or, "I wish I'd done my laundry last week, then I wouldn't have to wear this weird t-shirt." I know they're shallow thoughts, but they are the thoughts I had.

So as I packed for Paris, I was extremely careful to pack my nicest travel-safe clothes. I even went shopping a week or so before I left just to be sure I wouldn't be embarrassed by what I was going to wear around France. And once I was in France I almost didn't want to talk when I was in public. I didn't want people to hear my American accent and criticize me for being a tourist.

Then one day towards the end of my visit I was sitting on the metro and looking at the ground. I liked to see what cool new shoe brands people wore in Paris. But this time as I was looking at everyone's shoes I did not see a single name brand shoe that stood out. I'm sure there were Nikes and Stan Smiths and other kinds of shoes, but from where I was sitting I didn't see any really nice shoes.

I remember thinking, "People aren't afraid to wear shoes like that in Paris?"

I didn't think that thought in a derogatory way. There was absolutely nothing wrong with their shoes. But I knew that if I had worn shoes like that, I would have been self-conscious. And then I looked at my own walking shoes, which were nothing special, and saw the dust from the street. We all wore different brands, and some shoes were newer than others, but our shoes were all the same. Our shoes all walked the same metro steps and were now sitting in the same metro car going wherever we needed to go. An no matter what our shoes looked like, they would get us there.

I realized that if people didn't worry too much about what their shoes looked like in Paris, the fashion capital of the world, then I best better not get worked up about what clothes I was wearing here, in my little city in America. I'm sure there are people who really do care a crazy amount about what they look like in Paris. I did see some pretty chic looking people while I was there. But my experience on the metro taught me that it really doesn't matter how closely you follow the fads. What matters more is the quality of person you choose to be.

And let me tell you, I've been happier since I've been home. Yes my trip was phenomenal but I've never loved where I live more. You can get worked up about all the bad that's in the world and loose sight of what's important. Don't do that! Don't loose sight of the things that are right in front of you, filling you with experience and making life beautiful. Don't get carried away thinking about how much better things would be if you lived a different culture. Things wouldn't be better. They'd be different, but you'd still have trials just the same as you do here. So the least you can do is let go a little, step back, breathe deep, and decide to be the best you can be in the situation you've been given.

You don't need to look the best. You don't need to be the most fit. You don't need to have the coolest friends. You just need to take life by the hand and realize you're beautiful the way you are. I still don't feel that I've accurately explained what I learned on that train. It's not just clothes. It's everything. Stop stressing about school and work and friends, just smile and do your best. It's easier said than done, but you'll be a lot happier if you can look at things with perspective. What your circumstance is right now will not be your whole life, but your attitude and decisions right now will determine where your life goes. So be happy. Stop caring about what others think. Decide who you will be, and then BE.

God Is Not Idle

There are a lot of things I don't know. I don't know the rules of football. I don't know how to play the violin. I don't know how to do a cartwheel. But even with the many, many things I don't know, there is one thing that I know for certain! I know it without a doubt, and I know it is always right. More than anything in this world, I know that there is a God, and that He loves me!

Many things in my life testify to me on a daily basis that God is looking out for me. A few weeks ago, I was in a spiritual rut. I wasn't reading my scriptures that much, and I was saying my personal prayers even less. I didn't feel like I was getting anything from scripture study and prayer, so I didn't even try to read and pray. It was an endless cycle that I was caught in. Then Sunday rolled around, and I was starting to feel a little guilty because I didn't care about my personal scripture study and prayer. At church, I worried about how I didn't care. I worried that because I didn't seem to care, maybe I would fall away from the gospel. I really, really didn't want that to happen. So instead, I made a decision. It wasn't specific or huge, I simply decided that I would change. It began slowly, and even now I am still trying to do better, but the main thing I realized I needed to work on in order to turn things around was putting in a conscious effort to read my scriptures.

From that day, many little things that the Lord has done to bless my life have stood out to me like rescue flares. One thing really stood out to me that Thursday, after a few friends and I had done some family history work and found names to take to the temple. We were at the temple Thursday night to be baptized by proxy for those family names, but there were so many people that there was a three-hour wait. The baptistry closed at eight o'clock, but we were there until ten o'clock before we even got to do the baptisms and confirmations. I feel especially blessed not only to have been able to do that, but also that the many things left in my day to do didn't come to mind until after we left the temple. In my personal opinion, there are few things worse than a stressful visit to the temple. It wasn't until I got home and was talking to my mom that I realized all the things that should have gotten done that day, but hadn't. Though the built-up stress was not a positive thing, I still know that God was blessing me because I didn't feel that stress until I had finished the ordinances and was reflecting on my day.

The next day, that stress was still there. For all my thinking and justifying, I knew that the stress was the result of some procrastination I had done earlier in the week. I found myself pleading with the Lord that work would be canceled that day. I didn't know what else I could do, and there was no way I could get everything I needed to done if I still had to go to work. I prayed and prayed, and by lunchtime I got a text at school. It was my employer, telling me that work was going slow that day and that I could choose whether or not I was going to go in to work. I immediately texted back, saying that I would take the day off and thanked my Heavenly Father for answering my prayer.

This last week was the end of my first school term. It was hectic, trying to keep all my grades up and making sure I got everything turned in on time. I was happy to know that I was getting the grades I wanted. But as I examined each grade to see the individual assignment grades, I noticed that a fair amount of extra credit had been given to me for an assignment I didn't do. It was in my hardest class, and I looked at the exact percentage I had sadly, knowing that the next day it would probably go down if I told my teacher about the error. In a second of hesitation, I tried to justify keeping the extra credit points. Maybe they were for another assignment and had just gotten entered in under the wrong one. But I knew that it wasn't honest to keep the points, and so the next day I told my teacher. She took the points away after confirming my fears that it would likely take my grade down below where I wanted it to be. However, after taking away the extra points, my grade was still just barely above in the right range. I know that even though I risked sacrificing my perfect grade to be honest, I was blessed for that honesty.

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I KNOW that God does not sit idly, watching my life take place. He is there for me, and loves me, and wants me to succeed. I am overwhelmed with His love. Without Him, I would be lost in this crazy life. So many things don't go as planned. There are so many questions without answers. But through everything, Heavenly Father is always there, and He will help us if we let Him.

He is Mindful of Us All.

Everyone has, at some point in their life, felt insecure. They've struggled with self-doubt. They've felt alone. We've all over-thought situations. We've questioned ourselves. We've wondered how "good" we really are. If we'll ever amount to anything really wonderful.

Three weeks ago, I was camping with the young women in my stake. Sister Elaine S. Dalton, the former General Young Women's President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, came to talk to us on our last night there. She shared many things, all relating back to the fact that we might not always know what is in store for us, but the Lord does. She used to think she was a skinny little nobody, just as many of us have felt. But as she has lived a worthy life, she has come to better understand her divine potential.

Now, I'm not exactly sure what everyone else got out of Sister Dalton's talk that night a few weeks ago, because I was way more focused on something she said at the beginning of her talk. She began by talking about her patriarchal blessing. Before camp, I'd received an interview to get my patriarchal blessing, but I was worried that maybe I wasn't prepared yet. I'd been praying to Heavenly Father to help me be worthy, but I wasn't sure that I was. I'd been thinking about getting my patriarchal blessing for a long time, but now that I'd actually scheduled it, I was having second thoughts. As soon as Sister Dalton mentioned her patriarchal blessing, I knew. I KNEW that I was worthy. The Holy Ghost testified to me that I was. For the rest of the talk she shared, I was thinking of that spiritual confirmation from God that I was prepared. And that brought me indescribable joy!

After she was done talking, I waited behind a ton of girls to be able to talk to Sister Dalton. I told her how she had answered my prayers. She just hugged me, looked in in the eyes, and said, "My dear, you are worthy!" I will never forget that. My doubt was squashed and I felt the undeniable love of God for me. I was left with no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father knew where I was, knew the question I was facing, and knew how to reach me.

I believe that Heavenly Father has many ways for us to get the message He wants us to receive. Sister Dalton was an answer to my prayers that night. Heavenly Father knew exactly how to tell me what I needed to know. It was not at all how I expected to learn it, but I understood that it was for me. Each one of us is different. But He takes the time to think of us and answer our prayers. Sometimes we need to remember that the Lord has His own timetable, that nothing is according to our plans, but to His. We also need to remember that He often times answers our prayers in the ways we least expect. But we need never doubt that He will answer our prayers. He will, He always will. Just as the people in our lives who love us would not simply ignore us if we sincerely and righteously asked for something, neither will God. Because He loves us unconditionally, and He knows us better than anyone else.

This situation puts me in mind of my favorite verse of scripture, found in Alma chapter 26 verse 37. It reads,

Now, my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

You are wonderful! Never, ever doubt it. As long as God loves you, you have infinite worth. And guess what? God loves you forever, without fail, unconditionally, no matter what, and with the purest love. He is so, so mindful of you. If you will put your faith in Him, you will do wonderful things.

My Holy Place

On Friday I went to seminary class, and we talked about the Restoration. Our seminary teacher brought up the Sacred Grove, and asked us all to think about it. He brought up the fact that the Sacred Grove was the place where Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ showed themselves to Joseph Smith during the first vision. He then told us all to think of a place where we can feel the Holy Ghost, where we go when we want to be alone with God. My first thought was my bedroom, but my room is often messy, and that doesn't allow myself to focus very well.

So when I thought of my holy place, my "personal Sacred Grove," I thought of all the times I had been to the mountains, and just had time to sit and think. Whenever I do that, my thoughts wander to God and the gospel. The mountains are my holy place.

That day in seminary, we read Moroni chapter 10 of the Book of Mormon, and Moroni's promise found in verses 4 and 5. The promise challenges us to, after we read the scriptures, pray to God and ask if the things they say are true. My seminary teacher challenged my class to go to our holy place and pray. I was immediately sad, not knowing the next time I would be able to travel to the mountains and have a moment to just sit and think.

What I'd forgotten was that I was going to youth conference later that day, almost as soon as I got home from school. I quickly packed up all of the things I would need for this overnight trip, then ran over to our church meeting house and loaded my bags into the trailer waiting for us. We drove up the canyon, and I realized that I was being brought to my holy place after all.

During those two days and one night I was at youth conference with all my ward friends around me, I had a blast. We played hard, danced, hiked, and just had a stellar time. But when I had a minute to myself, I could feel God's love for me. I knew He cared about me individually, and that He wanted the best for me. It made me want to do better than I was doing.

That's what God's love does: it fills us with the knowledge of how much He cares, and makes us want to do better. Those days during youth conference, I didn't do Moroni's challenge. I didn't need to. Heavenly Father had already borne witness to me that the Book of Mormon was true. The reason I feel so blessed for having ended up in my sacred place after all is because it still strengthened my testimony. I'm so glad that I was able to go to my holy place and know that God was watching over me, helping me along, and blessing my life. I love Heavenly Father, and know that He is looking out for me always. He has my best interest at heart, and will always love me, no matter what. And that's the part of my testimony that was strengthened in my holy place.

Honor Your Hero

Today is Mother's Day in America. Whenever I think about Mother's Day, there's just so much I want to say! I'm not sure where to begin. So I guess I'll start with my mother.

My mom is funny. My mom is hard working. She's always there for me. She's compassionate. She's loving. She listens, and she cares. The house isn't always clean, and sometimes the day is so busy we just have mac n' cheese for dinner, but it's OK. Because we never are left doubting that my mom is trying her best to be there for us. She has priorities, and she knows that sometimes certain things have to be sacrificed in order to bring about better things. I love her so much more than she will ever know.

Most of all, my mom is the biggest example in my life. She has such a strong testimony of the gospel! I've learned so much because of her. She's my go-to person, and my very best friend.

In Alma chapter 56 verses 47 and 48, it says:

47. ...Yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

48. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.

I love those verses! They are so true. Nobody will ever have an influence over our lives as much as our mothers will.

With that being said, some people don't have a strong mother figure in their family. Or perhaps their mother is gone a lot of the time, so that motherly influence comes from somewhere else. This last general conference, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared a talk entitled, "I Have Given You an Example." In his talk, he shard how two of the biggest influences in his life were his grandmother and wife, not his mother.

My mom is my hero. She's such an example to me! Whether you have a mother or a grandmother, an aunt or a sister, or even a neighbor who is your example, let them know how much you appreciate them. So today, honor whoever your hero is. Mother's Day is the day to celebrate those who guide you and lift you up.

Some people might have circumstances where they don't feel like they have a motherly figure in their life. They might feel completely alone. But always remember that we have the Savior, Jesus Christ. His love is unconditional, and he knows our infinite worth. So if you don't feel like you can turn to someone around you, turn to Jesus and thank Him for all He has done for you. Jesus is also my hero. He is so selfless and has the purest love. I know that the ultimate goal I could ever have would be to become like Him.

I am so thankful for my life. I am so blessed, and I recognize that. Sure, I have hard times, and things don't always go my way, but I know that the Lord's way is so much better than my way. I trust Him completely, and know that He has a wonderful plan in store for me and each of His beloved sons and daughters here on earth. He knows who I am, and He knows who each of us is. He will never leave us alone. God is also my hero.

Today remember your heroes. They are always there for you, and want you to know how much they love you. So show them your love in return! Because they will never ever leave you alone. They will help you and teach you and lift you up. They will encourage you to become your best self. Remember that. Never forget that. Every person is loved more than they can comprehend.

And Always Remember Him

Tomorrow is Easter. We live in a world where Easter has evolved from a Christian holiday to a holiday of Easter bunnies and egg hunts. We need to remember the symbolism that bunnies and eggs bring to the holiday, not the games they present to the holiday. Easter is a time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The eggs and the bunnies represent new life; just as through Christ, each of us can be resurrected and have a "new life."

In Seminary we were recently studying in 3 Nephi chapter 18 of the Book of Mormon. In verse 7, the word "remember" is used twice, and "remembrance" is used once. Christ is ministering unto the Nephites and telling them of the ordinance of the sacrament. The sacrament symbolizes the blood and body of Christ. We are told in the sacrament prayers (Doctrine & Covenants 20: 77,79) that if we always remember Him, and take upon us His name, we will have His spirit to be with us.

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I was asked a while ago whether I knew what the most important word in the English language was. Aafter talking to a friend, we decided that it was probably the word "no," just because there is so much in our day and age that we have to say "no" to. But after a discussion, we came to realized that "remember" is one of the most important words.

History is recorded so that we can remember the past and learn from it. Planners are used in school to help us remember assignments. Alarms are set so that we can remember important events. Notes are kept so that we can remember our grocery lists. Our lives revolve around remembering the various tasks we have to complete. How fitting that "remember" should be the most important word.

Helaman 5:12 reads,

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yes, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build the cannot fall.

We are told, using that most important word, to remember our Redeemer, even Jesus Christ, the son of God. We are not told once, but twice. And in that chapter alone, the word "remember" is used 15 times. Of all things to remember, Christ is the most important. It is through Him and Him alone that we can be saved.

 

There is a new short video that was made by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints called "Because of Him." It is my new favorite movie, even though it's only slightly longer than two minutes. Every time I watch it, I get chills and can feel the Spirit so strong. It illustrates how Christ lived and died for us, then was resurrected on the third day. It shows how it is because of Him we have what we do in this life. The hashtag #BecauseofHim is being used on facebook, twitter, Google+, pretty much everywhere. I challenge you to use #BecauseofHim in a post, a tweet, something today or tomorrow, followed by a blessing Christ has brought into your life. I testify that there is nothing we have, no blessing given to us, that is not because of Him. He has given us everything. We owe our lives to our older brother, Jesus. He atoned for each and every one of our sins and shortcomings. Our pains and our afflictions. If He could do that and remember each one of us, we can remember Him.

A girl in my seminary class said this,

"Sometimes you'll slip up, and you'll fall, but He'll always be there to catch you."

Nothing is more true! There is a story of  rock climber, Alan Czenkusch, who was climbing belay with a friend. He slipped and fell, yanking out the three mechanical supports that were holding him up. Because he was belaying, he was attached to his friend by a rope. His friend was able to stop Czenkusch's fall by hugging the rock wall tight enough, and that saved Czenkusch's life. In an interview he said, "Don saved my life. How do you respond to a guy like that? Give him a used climbing rope for a Christmas present? No, you remember him. You always remember him."

Christ saved our lives. We need to always remember him. Know that as we climb up our spiritual rock walls in life, we climb in belay with the Lord. If we fall and our supports come out, He will spread his arms and catch us. How can we thank Jesus Christ? We always remember him.

This Easter, know that the holiday reaches beyond the fluffy rabbits and colored eggs. Know that it is a celebration of our older brother, Jesus Christ, the one who saved our lives.

My Testimony

Tonight, I just want to share my testimony. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church. I know that God sent His son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins and short-comings so that we can repent and be forgiven. I know that the Atonement isn't just for our sins, but also for our sadness and sorrows. The scriptures state that Christ took upon himself all the pains of the world, not just all the mistakes. So if we ever think that there is nobody who understands us when we feel hurt or alone, Jesus understands because he felt your hurt and loneliness before you ever did.

I also know that Christ died for us and was resurrected so we could live with God again. I know that death IS NOT THE END. There is always going to be a feeling of loss when a loved one passes away, and they will always be missed, but there is also joy in the knowledge that we will get to see them again. I know that God has a plan for us, and knows us each individually. His love is infinite and unconditional. It is there for us all, but it is up to us to come unto Him and feel of His love.

I love this gospel, and I love my life, and I thank God daily for how blessed I am. Nothing is ever perfect, nor will it ever be in this life. But as we do our part to be the best we can be, God will make up the difference. We can be perfected in Christ in the life to come! And these things I say in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I'd also like to share this quote by Elder Richard G. Scott:

"Simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings...Stay on the Lord's side, and you will win every time."

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He Hears Us

Today was the day I performed last-minute to accompany my friend! I came home from school and practiced until my fingers couldn't find the notes, then I took a break, then practiced again and again. Let me tell you, I was pretty darn nervous. I didn't see how on earth I would be able to play the song well enough! I didn't care about it for my sake, but I sure didn't want to make my friend sound bad.

It was down to a half and hour before I had to leave, and I decided I wouldn't touch the piano again until I got there. I was warmed up enough, and I was to the point where I was only playing mistakes. If I sat down and started memorizing those mistakes, my performance would be horrible. So I waited, rather anxiously, for time to pass.

Then it was the moment when we were walking into the judging room. Luckily the piano was turned so the judge couldn't see me when I sat down, and that made me feel like nobody was there. But I must have said five prayers in two minutes, simply asking Heavenly Father to bless my performance that it would be all it needed to be. The judge wasn't assessing me, something I am very grateful about, but if I didn't play well, the song would sound awful.

I took a deep breath and said a final prayer as the song began. After that, my fingers found the keys. It was far from a perfect performance, but whenever a note was wrong, usually it was harmony that sounded just fine with whatever my friend was playing. I didn't mess up badly on the spots where I usually had to slow down extremely as I practiced. It really was a miracle.

The thing is, I'd done everything I could possibly do to prepare that song in just over twenty-four hours. I literally don't think I could have done anything more that would have helped. Heavenly Father knew that, and so when I prayed, sincerely asking for His help, He gave it.

Sometimes I know it's easy to feel as though God hasn't heard our prayers. Maybe we say something specific, and things don't play out the way we'd hoped they would. I've come to see, however, that God absolutely hears and answers us when we pray to Him. And actually, it is almost never in the way that we plan the answers to come. Things might go wrong for a time, but it's always because it'll make something else go right. This I know with all my heart.

Be Prepared

I stayed after school today to practice for a Shakespeare scene a few of my friends and I are doing together. As we were meeting in the room where the practice would be, another one of my friends came in. She was talking about how nervous she was because the next day, she was preforming in a solo/ensemble organization, and she didn't have a pianist to accompany her.

She asked if any of us knew someone who could play, and I told her that I could. She showed me the song, and it was easy enough I figured I could learn it well enough in the amount of time there was.

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The rest of my day was crazy. It had started out as a mellow day, nothing much going on, and then escalated into a frenzy of getting where I needed to be and practicing my new piano song in my spare time. Wow!

First of all, I'm very thankful that I am on top of my school work. Yes, I have homework, and I will always have homework. I'm to the point in school where you're never really completely done with all your homework. But, even though I missed a few days of school recently, I haven't fallen behind. I've been able to catch up quickly and keep up with the pace my teachers set.

Secondly, I'm thankful that I am able to play the piano piece. Even a few months ago, the thought of having one day to prepare and preform would have been unthinkable. I wouldn't have dared volunteer myself to be a last-second accompanist! But because I've practice my piano well over the last few months, I felt comfortable accepting the piano piece.

I know that we need to be prepared, even if we don't know what we are prepared for. When I chose to quickly make up my homework, I didn't know I'd need the time later on to practice a song. And when I chose to be diligent in my piano practicing months ago, I didn't know that it would pay off so soon. It's important to feel "ready," no matter what. Today, I woke up feeling like life was going to be perfect and peaceful. It wasn't peaceful, and not even close to perfect, but because I felt that "readiness," I was able to take on this challenge and do well.

Christ was always prepared. You never hear a story of the Savior scrambling to finish something before He had to do something else. He was always ready to help those who needed His help.

I have a testimony that this gospel is true. And I know that as we strive to become more Christlike, it really does pay off and we will feel better for it. To come unto Christ is to live in a lifestyle that is desirable above all others.

Tender Mercies

Last week my Sunday School class was talking about the tender mercies of the Lord. We were asked if we could think of any of these "tender mercies" in our lives; that is, times when we have seen the hand of the Lord working in our lives. These tender mercies don't have to be big things. In fact, more often than not, they are really just the little things that still mean a lot to us. Immediately I thought of two simple tender mercies.

Earlier this month, it was time to register for class changes at my school. The month before, I had already submitted a form to make a class change and had been told I would receive an email when that change was made. Still I hadn't gotten an email and the deadline to make these changes was coming up the very next day. I was really nervous because talking to the school counselors has always made me just a little bit scared, and I didn't want to. So as I was getting ready for bed, a thought came to my mind. I thought that I should pull my schedule up online and check to see if the change had been made. The thought wouldn't leave my mind, so I did. It wasn't just a thought that came because I was thinking about my schedule at the time. No train of thought led up to it. I was simply nervous about my schedule change, and this sudden thought entered my brain. I looked up my schedule and, sure enough, the change had been made.

I know that this prompting was God helping me, because he loves me enough to care about what's important to me. It was a really small thing that I could have easily done on my own. But God knew how much I didn't want to talk to my counselors and go through the stress of finding time to submit another class change, so He prompted me to check my schedule first.

Another tender mercy in my life was when I was called to be the Mia Maids class 2nd Counselor for my ward. At the time I wasn't sure whether I really needed to be in the class presidency. I was being set apart and in the blessing, I was told something that my dad often tells me.I was told that I would put the Lord first in my life, I would be blessed. That really touched my heart and I knew that it was inspiration from God for the member of the bishopric to say that. It testified to me that Heavenly Father knows me individually and is watching over me. And that this was His will for me at that time.

This last week another tender mercy happened to me. I'm sure that there were many, but this one stood out to me. At first I didn't recognize it, but now that I think about it, it definitely was a tender mercy.

My grandpa passed away yesterday. It was really hard for me to learn that because my grandma, his wife, passed away less than a year ago. My grandpa's passing was expected, but it was still rather sudden. I was really surprised and sad, and started crying. My dad and I were going to eye doctor appointments in an hour and a half after they told me, and I obviously couldn't be crying while my eyes were being examined. My parents told me to try to take my mind off of it so I could calm down, and I was inspired to exercise on the elliptical and listen to uplifting music. I found my iPod and started exercising. Within ten minutes, I no longer looked like I had been crying, and my eyes didn't feel like they had been crying either.

That was definitely God looking out for me and sending the Holy Ghost to comfort me. It was such an insignificant desire to look like I hadn't been crying on my part, but Heavenly Father knew it mattered to me. So He helped me by letting me be inspired to know what to do to calm down.

I love my Heavenly Father with all my heart, and I know that He loves me. I know that I am never alone because He is always there for me. Nobody could ever say anything that would make be believe otherwise. Because the Holy Ghost has testified to me of the truth of the gospel, and the truth of God's love for me and for everyone. I am so grateful for that.

God Understands Us

My ward has set up a ward blog, and I have published a personal story on it. It is about a time in my life when I was not especially close to God and I had doubts. It is an experience that is close to my heart. The link is also to the left under "Blog Links."

The rest of the blog is absolutely amazing! Please read the other posts by fabulous church members at mycalling.org . The strength and the faith of the people around me never ceases to amaze me. It lifts me up and makes me want to be a better person.

The post on my ward's blog is about how God has helped me through music. This experience wasn't the only time this has happened. In February, my grandmother passed away and I had a really hard time. She was such a sweet, loving, gentle person and I knew that she was in the caring hands of God, but I still missed her immensely and really struggled putting it behind me. The day after her passing was especially difficult for me. I went to a basketball game for the young women in my ward. When I was playing I was fine, but whenever I was on the sidelines I broke down and started crying. After my young women leaders dropped my off at home, I had the words to "Fix You" by Coldplay get stuck in my mind. So I went to my room and played the song for a little bit. It helped me calm down and I could sense that this was a message Heavenly Father was trying to relay to me by putting the song in my mind.

The way that God reaches out to me reminds me of the scripture in Proverbs chapter 3, verses 5 and 6:

5. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

I know that God loves us each individually SO MUCH that He takes the time to communicate with us in the way we will receive His messages the best. There is no doubt in my mind the He knows who I am and watches out for me constantly. He will direct my paths, so long as I am faithful and trust in Him with all my heart.

Lyrics to "Fix You" by Coldplay:

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Prayer and Miracles

A unique thing has happened to me over the past couple of weeks. First, I decided to officially drop my musical theater class. At first I was hesitant, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I really just didn't want to take the class. I love the people, but being around them for so long exhausts me, and I didn't feel up to a super busy schedule again. Before I actually dropped the class, though I prayed about it. At first I just wanted to know if I should drop the class, but then I prayed about the class I would replace it with, and I felt peaceful. I knew that I was making the right choice.

But I didn't realize why it was so right.

Not two days later, I was talking to a friend of mine at school. A mutual friend of ours had become inactive, and we had an opportunity to read the Book of Mormon with them. I was so excited! And as soon as I heard that, I knew. I knew God was planning that for me. It was another feeling of peace that just made me think, "Ok. God knows what's going on, and He knows me."

Before that happened I had been praying for a missionary experience, but it just didn't seem to be happening. I tried to put faith into my prayers, but every night I would think about the people I knew and wondered who on earth I could help. I didn't see an opportunity, but I kept on praying. I know God heard my prayers, because He gave me a missionary experience that I never would have anticipated. I was not expecting it to come from where it did, but because I was praying for it and looking for it, I recognized the opportunity when came.

Only about a week before my missionary experience I had been thinking to myself, "What can I do? I don't know how to go about this, and I honestly don't know anyone that I could talk to about the gospel." I just kept on trying my best, and striving to be an example. It wasn't always easy, and sometimes being an example just didn't happen. But I did try, and I kept on praying.

I know prayer is powerful. I think that, though I am looking forward to starting the Book of Mormon with this friend of mine, this will not be a missionary experience meant for only them. This will be a missionary experience for me as well. My testimony has already been strengthened by this, and nothing has even really happened yet.

God amazes me daily. The things that He puts into my life are truly wonderful. The way that events fit together perfectly, making room for the things I feel are important. If I had kept with my musical theater class, I would never have had the time to spend with my friend studying the scriptures. The things people call coincidences, I call miracles. Nothing is unintentional when we are in the hands of God.

Miracles don't have to be big. They just have to be meaningful. If we pray for the right things, then the right things will happen. I know that God has a plan for me. I know that he cares about what happens to me, and is there with me through every choice I ever make. He is not distant and only there for the big things, he is there making sure that every single miniscule detail in my life happens the way it needs to for me to reach my full potential. I know that as long as I have faith, He will guide me and bless me.

Rely on Christ

Today was one of those days that frustrates you like none other. Nothing seemed to be going right, and I was ultimately grumpy. But not at first. Oh no, I actually started out the day pretty happy. I got up early and read my scriptures and went to the temple and then headed off to school. My first period class was seminary, a church-related class that requires early-morning attendance, or in some places release time, to attend. I really love seminary, and that put me in a really good mood. Then I went to choir, where I played the song I was accompanying for the choir concert. I was feeling really good.

Then I went to math. Math is one of those classes that I actually, surprisingly, love. Yes, I admittedly do like school, depending on the day. You can find me saying that I hate school and wish I were home in bed, but the only true part about that is the "I wish I were home in bed" bit. In all reality, school isn't a bad thing. It's just these crummy days that make me declare that I "hate" it.

Math has always been a decent class for me, because I really just get the subject. It connects in my mind really well, and I can understand it quickly. And my math teacher can be very entertaining, which makes the class that much better. Today, however, was not a fun time in class. A phone went off in class accidentally, and the teacher wanted the person to turn in their phone. However, my teacher didn't know who's phone it was, and nobody came forward with it. So my teacher said that until the person would surrender their phone, he wouldn't teach us anything. Long story short, we sat there for the majority of the class period doing nothing, until he gave in on behalf of a student who came forward and offered to give him her phone, even though it wasn't the one that went off.

But by that point, I was really ticked off. I had just wasted all but the last ten minutes of the class period, having done nothing at all but attempt to decipher the notes our teacher had handed out to us. I've never learned well just by reading instructions, especially when they are written with the proper mathematical vocabulary. I am a person who learns very well when I can hear what they instructions are, and see them being shown at the same time. To not have my teacher explain them to us was highly frustrating. I will say that I wasn't quite sure who to be mad at: the teacher, or the student who wouldn't turn in their phone. But whoever I was mad at, I was mad.

I remember thinking that I shouldn't be upset. I should calm down and just move on, and I should do something about the situation. The problem was, I didn't know what to do. And the more I just sat there, the more I started to push aside those optimistic thoughts and focus on the pessimistic ones.
When the girl went up to my teacher and offered to turn in her own phone for the sake of learning the material we would be quizzed on next class period, my teacher gave in and decided he would teach us the math because she was willing to take the blame for something she hadn't done.

I didn't have my phone with me, so I didn't think I could go up and do that. But as for that, she hadn't had her phone with her, either. She had offered to walk to her locker, get her phone, and bring it back so that we could continue on with the lesson. I was bugged, because I had thought to do the same thing, only I hadn't.
After that, I was in a decidedly bad mood. And because of that, my day seemed to just fall apart. I was moody. I got pushed down in the hall and landed on a girl with a wheelchair. Normally, I would have just brushed that aside after a bit, but today it stuck with me. I couldn't carry a conversation with my friends. I was letting the resent I'd felt in math class boil up inside of me, and that was turning me into an irritable person.

I feel really bad about that. There was so much more I could have done today, what with it being a Friday. I could have been kinder and spent time with my friends doing homework. I could have smiled and laughed with them at lunch. I could have been a force for good. But instead, I made the wrong choice an allowed my bitter thoughts to eat at me. I regret that a lot. Because of that, I spent my after-school hours curled up on a beanbag, watching a movie, being anti-social. Now I've thought about my day and the choices I've made, and there is one thing I can say for certain:

Tomorrow I will be better.

What that girl in my math class did today was a lot like what the Savior, Jesus Christ, did for all of us. She offered to take the blame for what someone else had done so that we could continue on and learn. Christ atoned for our sins, our shortcomings, our every mistake. He was perfect, and he took upon himself every sin that he had never committed for our sakes so that we could repent and return to live with God again. That atonement is a gift. And gifts are meant to be used.

I am so thankful for the atonement. I know I've said it before, but I am! I am, because it is the greatest gift that could ever be given. It is the way that we can all be forgiven and eventually be made perfect. We are all human, and we all make mistakes, but because of Christ's love and willingness to atone for us, we can overcome our pasts and enter into an ever-brighter future. I am now not frustrated at my math class for what happened, or for the rest of my day not going the way I wanted it to, but I'm frustrated at myself for not doing anything about it. However, I know that I can take away that frustration and start afresh through the atonement of Christ.

I love God with all my heart, and I love Jesus Christ, and I love this gospel. I am so thankful for it, and I use it every day in my life. Without it, I would be impossibly lost. It is the rock that keeps me standing. I know that the gospel is true, and that God has a plan for all of us. I know that I am loved more than I can know. And I know that by the power of the atonement our burdens can be made light, and we can repent.

"Try a little harder, to be a little better." ~Gordon B. Hinkley

Eleven Reasons to Give Thanks

One is my family. I would be so helplessly lost without my family in my life. We all take turns making each other laugh. We comfort each other, we tease other, and we love each other. My family is the greatest influence in my life, and will be for ever and ever. I am so glad that my family is as wonderful as they are, because they have no possible idea of how much of an impact they have on me.

Two is my friends. The peanut butter to my jelly, the ginger to my bread, they just understand me and make my life complete. It's so great to have people to turn to when you feel like nobody else really gets it. And what is more, usually they get you laughing and you turn a fail of a day into a completely marvelous time. They know just what to say to make me happy and pick me up when times get rough.

Three is school. Yes, school. It doesn't matter how much I say I hate it, I really love it. Because at school is where I experience society and meet new people. At school is where I learn more about the things I love to learn. And most importantly, school is where all of my great experiences with other people take place. If it weren't for school, my testimony would never be as strong as it is now.

Four is my home. I don't mean just the actual, physical house that I live in, but also my neighborhood and city. Of course I am immensely thankful for the warm and comfortable house I have, but my house would be sad indeed without the influence of the people around it. My neighbors add so much to my life, and my city influences everything that happens. So, in short, where I live is wonderful. Simply wonderful.

Five is technology. I am to an age where many of my friends have moved away, and I have family living out of state. I am so thankful that modern technology makes it possible for me to talk to them. While facebook and twitter and things like that are awesome, and I definitely don't complain about them, I am especially thankful for email and phones. I like them better, because they allow me to have more private and meaningful conversations with my friends that can take longer and get better than they ever would on any other social media site.

Six is my voice. Have you ever noticed how expressive someone's voice is? It tells their entire story! The way they talk to you says volumes about them. I am thankful that I am able to talk and sing and laugh with those around me. I am so blessed to live in a community where people live close enough to talk to one another and take the time to understand each-other.

Seven is the missionaries for my church. I am not directly influenced by them, but they influence me greatly just the same. They are such examples in my life, and whenever I get letters or emails from them, it just amazes me how strong and true they are. Their courage is astounding, and their diligence is magnificent.

Eight is General Conference, a semi-annual church-wide event for Mormons. We gather to either hear a broadcast of our modern-day prophets, or else we are blessed to hear them live at Temple Square. General Conference is a wonderful time to hear the word of God and come nearer to Him through the words of the prophets.

Nine is Jesus Christ, and His infinite atonement. Because He atoned for the sins of every single person to ever live, we can all repent! I rely on the atonement daily. Not only can I ask for forgiveness and be forgiven, but Christ also understands perfectly the way that I feel when I face a trial in my life. He knows me, and through the atonement I can rely on Him to help me through the hard times in my life.

Ten is God and the wonderful gospel through which He so abundantly blesses me. I know that God loves me more than I would ever be able to comprehend. He sees me for who I am, not how other people see me. He knows my infinite worth and wants me to do my very best. He gives me all that I have. He wants me to succeed. He puts the things in my life that I need most and knows what is best for me in all things.

Eleven is the Plan of Salvation, the Great Plan of Happiness. Because of the Plan of Salvation, the LDS faith believes in a life after death. I am SO thankful for this truth because it means that I will be able to see my loved ones who have passed on again. I know that I will get to see them again without a doubt! Heavenly Father has made it known to me. I have felt His undoubted assurance during the hard times in my life that I will some day be able to see the family members I have loved so dearly again. Last February my grandma passed away. I had a hard time getting over her passing for months and I still miss her tremendously! But I would still be having a really hard time if I didn't know that I would be able to see her again some day. That has been such a comfort in my life, and it lifts my spirits every time I feel sad that I can't turn and talk to her like I used to. God's plan for us is so amazing and perfect! I am so thankful for it.

Giving Thanksgiving

Tonight as a group, the youth in my neighborhood all gathered Thanksgiving food for other people who might be in need of it. We never think much of it. It's a neat thing to do for others, but we never know who gets the food we gather, so we just do it and don't think twice.

After this youth activity, I was complimented by a few people for things I had done in the past that I had, quite frankly, forgotten all about. It made me feel really good and happy. It's always wonderful to know that someone recognizes you, and cares about you enough to reach out to you.

I was thinking about that and connected that to the activity tonight. The same sort of feeling I had when I got those compliments will be what is felt by the families we reached out to. When you give to others, that is giving them reason to be thankful. You're giving thanksgiving! I didn't really understand that until tonight.
I still don't know who I've been able to help with the Thanksgiving food drive, but I now know what their reaction will be. It will be my reaction to the compliments times ten. Thanksgiving time isn't just a time for you yourself to be thankful for everything you have, it is also a time to give others a reason to be thankful as well. God has given us all so much. We can thank Him for it all, but we can also do more. We can ultimately give someone else a reason for thanksgiving. The way to serve God is by serving others.

Tonight, that just hit me strong and true. I'd never made the connection. But now I understand, and I want to do more. I love the gospel, and how everything just connects together so perfectly! I know God understands each one of us, and that He is there for us. I feel His love daily. I am so thankful for that love, and the knowledge that God will be beside me to the end.