Who Will You Be?

Hello, it's been a while. Life is crazy. I should be doing homework right now. Or I should be practicing the piano. But I feel like it's important for me to write this blog post, because last week I realized something I've never realized before. I've been taught it my whole life, but it didn't mean anything to me until I was sitting on a train looking at everyone's shoes. I learned something I can't quite put in words. I can try to describe it by saying that it doesn't matter what you wear or what language you speak or how many pictures you post to Instagram in a day, but that doesn't quite cut it. I learned that life is so much more than how I am perceived.

Last week I was in Paris. Before my trip I was stressing. I was about to visit the fashion capital of the world! I'm the sort of person who hardly ever does her hair before school, let alone put on makeup or find matching socks. But that's not to say I'm not self-conscious about the way I look, and many days I would look at myself in the hall mirror and think, "If only I had woken up a few minutes earlier today I could have put on mascara," or, "I wish I'd done my laundry last week, then I wouldn't have to wear this weird t-shirt." I know they're shallow thoughts, but they are the thoughts I had.

So as I packed for Paris, I was extremely careful to pack my nicest travel-safe clothes. I even went shopping a week or so before I left just to be sure I wouldn't be embarrassed by what I was going to wear around France. And once I was in France I almost didn't want to talk when I was in public. I didn't want people to hear my American accent and criticize me for being a tourist.

Then one day towards the end of my visit I was sitting on the metro and looking at the ground. I liked to see what cool new shoe brands people wore in Paris. But this time as I was looking at everyone's shoes I did not see a single name brand shoe that stood out. I'm sure there were Nikes and Stan Smiths and other kinds of shoes, but from where I was sitting I didn't see any really nice shoes.

I remember thinking, "People aren't afraid to wear shoes like that in Paris?"

I didn't think that thought in a derogatory way. There was absolutely nothing wrong with their shoes. But I knew that if I had worn shoes like that, I would have been self-conscious. And then I looked at my own walking shoes, which were nothing special, and saw the dust from the street. We all wore different brands, and some shoes were newer than others, but our shoes were all the same. Our shoes all walked the same metro steps and were now sitting in the same metro car going wherever we needed to go. An no matter what our shoes looked like, they would get us there.

I realized that if people didn't worry too much about what their shoes looked like in Paris, the fashion capital of the world, then I best better not get worked up about what clothes I was wearing here, in my little city in America. I'm sure there are people who really do care a crazy amount about what they look like in Paris. I did see some pretty chic looking people while I was there. But my experience on the metro taught me that it really doesn't matter how closely you follow the fads. What matters more is the quality of person you choose to be.

And let me tell you, I've been happier since I've been home. Yes my trip was phenomenal but I've never loved where I live more. You can get worked up about all the bad that's in the world and loose sight of what's important. Don't do that! Don't loose sight of the things that are right in front of you, filling you with experience and making life beautiful. Don't get carried away thinking about how much better things would be if you lived a different culture. Things wouldn't be better. They'd be different, but you'd still have trials just the same as you do here. So the least you can do is let go a little, step back, breathe deep, and decide to be the best you can be in the situation you've been given.

You don't need to look the best. You don't need to be the most fit. You don't need to have the coolest friends. You just need to take life by the hand and realize you're beautiful the way you are. I still don't feel that I've accurately explained what I learned on that train. It's not just clothes. It's everything. Stop stressing about school and work and friends, just smile and do your best. It's easier said than done, but you'll be a lot happier if you can look at things with perspective. What your circumstance is right now will not be your whole life, but your attitude and decisions right now will determine where your life goes. So be happy. Stop caring about what others think. Decide who you will be, and then BE.

He is Mindful of Us All.

Everyone has, at some point in their life, felt insecure. They've struggled with self-doubt. They've felt alone. We've all over-thought situations. We've questioned ourselves. We've wondered how "good" we really are. If we'll ever amount to anything really wonderful.

Three weeks ago, I was camping with the young women in my stake. Sister Elaine S. Dalton, the former General Young Women's President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, came to talk to us on our last night there. She shared many things, all relating back to the fact that we might not always know what is in store for us, but the Lord does. She used to think she was a skinny little nobody, just as many of us have felt. But as she has lived a worthy life, she has come to better understand her divine potential.

Now, I'm not exactly sure what everyone else got out of Sister Dalton's talk that night a few weeks ago, because I was way more focused on something she said at the beginning of her talk. She began by talking about her patriarchal blessing. Before camp, I'd received an interview to get my patriarchal blessing, but I was worried that maybe I wasn't prepared yet. I'd been praying to Heavenly Father to help me be worthy, but I wasn't sure that I was. I'd been thinking about getting my patriarchal blessing for a long time, but now that I'd actually scheduled it, I was having second thoughts. As soon as Sister Dalton mentioned her patriarchal blessing, I knew. I KNEW that I was worthy. The Holy Ghost testified to me that I was. For the rest of the talk she shared, I was thinking of that spiritual confirmation from God that I was prepared. And that brought me indescribable joy!

After she was done talking, I waited behind a ton of girls to be able to talk to Sister Dalton. I told her how she had answered my prayers. She just hugged me, looked in in the eyes, and said, "My dear, you are worthy!" I will never forget that. My doubt was squashed and I felt the undeniable love of God for me. I was left with no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father knew where I was, knew the question I was facing, and knew how to reach me.

I believe that Heavenly Father has many ways for us to get the message He wants us to receive. Sister Dalton was an answer to my prayers that night. Heavenly Father knew exactly how to tell me what I needed to know. It was not at all how I expected to learn it, but I understood that it was for me. Each one of us is different. But He takes the time to think of us and answer our prayers. Sometimes we need to remember that the Lord has His own timetable, that nothing is according to our plans, but to His. We also need to remember that He often times answers our prayers in the ways we least expect. But we need never doubt that He will answer our prayers. He will, He always will. Just as the people in our lives who love us would not simply ignore us if we sincerely and righteously asked for something, neither will God. Because He loves us unconditionally, and He knows us better than anyone else.

This situation puts me in mind of my favorite verse of scripture, found in Alma chapter 26 verse 37. It reads,

Now, my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen.

You are wonderful! Never, ever doubt it. As long as God loves you, you have infinite worth. And guess what? God loves you forever, without fail, unconditionally, no matter what, and with the purest love. He is so, so mindful of you. If you will put your faith in Him, you will do wonderful things.

The Good Shepherd

Today I watched a short video called "Jesus Declares the Parable of the Lost Sheep." It is taken from that parable in Luke 15:2-7 of the Bible. When reading the parable in the scriptures I understood it, but it was the video that put it into perspective for me.

In the video, you see a shepherd watching over his enormous flock of sheep, only to realize that one is missing. He immediately turns and goes to find that missing sheep. You see him walk to all sorts of different places; he doesn't just look around where he is already and then give up. Then you see the shepherd find the sheep, and reach out for it with care and love.

The first thing that stands out to me is that the shepherd realizes that his sheep is missing. It is so amazing to me that one missing sheep among one hundred would be missed. But just the same, that sheep's absence is noticed. And without hesitation, the shepherd turns to go find it.

The second thing that really stands out to me is how far that shepherd is willing to travel to find his one missing sheep. He cares about it so much that he walks all over the place! He doesn't give up at the first hill he encounters, but he climbs that hill and keep going. He simply does not give up.

Third, the way he reaches out to the sheep with such love is really remarkable. It shows how he really was worried and cares so much about that sheep. I personally would have probably been like, well it's just one sheep. I have 99 more. Does it really matter?

But it matters. Jesus proceeds to compare each of us to that one lost sheep, a comparison that I'm sure we've all heard before. But the truth of it really rang true to me today. Christ is our Good Shepherd, always looking out for us. It doesn't matter how insignificant we think we are, He will always notice when we fall away. He will always reach out to us with love, inviting us to come back to Him. Because to Him, we are not insignificant. We are each so special and unique, and he loves us unconditionally.

This is a picture that I keep on my nightstand.
Every time I look at it, I am reminded of Jesus' love and how
He is always watching out for me.

He arm is constantly outstretched, we just have to turn to it. He is there through the Atonement. The Atonement is a gift. Just like any other gift, it was given to be used, not just looked at from a distance. Jesus is our older brother, and just like any other older brother or sister that we have, He loves us and wants to watch over us and protect us.

Sometimes it may be easy to feel like once we've made a mistake, we can't turn to the Atonement. We might feel lost or ruined. How could we be worth to pray to God for forgiveness? But there is never a time when we need to turn to Him more than then. His love is constant and unshaken, no matter what we do. He sees us for us, not our mistakes. If we repent, He will always forgive.

Remember that no matter where we go, what we do, how far we fall away, there is a Good Shepherd searching for us and continually inviting us to turn around. He is mindful of us always. And we can never go so far that we can not turn around.

Be Still

Today at church, my young women's group was talking about trials. Trials are something that everyone encounters in their lives, no matter who they are. We can't avoid them, they are there to test our faith and make us stronger. As some of the young women in my class shared trials that they went through or were still going through, I thought about a couple recent trials that I have gone through.

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My first trial began a year ago when my grandma passed away. It was really hard. While I was still a very positive person, I did have some down days where I missed her terribly. No matter what, I will miss her for the rest of my life. But because of the Plan of Happiness, I know that I will see her again some day, and that is a huge comfort to me. Just last month, my grandpa passed away, and that was even harder for me. I'd come to know my grandpa better than I ever had over this last year, so I felt a huge loss when he passed on. But they are together again, and that makes me happy. That knowledge, and the knowledge that I will see them again is what is bringing me through this trial.

My other trial is something that I wouldn't have even considered a trial a few months ago. A few of my friends are struggling with doubts or self worth, and me watching them go through that is my biggest trial right now. The part that makes it so hard is that I don't always know what I can do for them. I can see what they need, but I can't always just sand up and help them out. I want to tell them that I love them and everything will be OK, but I know that that's something I can't make them believe. They have to choose to accept that on their own. But I know that as I pray fervently and do all that I can, they will be helped and this trial will pass.

No trial lasts for ever. There is a life after this one, and if we live this life we have here on earth to our full potential, we will be blessed in the life to come. Not a single soul ever lived their life without trial. The ultimate example of this is Jesus Christ. He was perfect, and His trials were bigger than we can ever imagine. If He, a perfect man, had to go through all that He did, we certainly have to go through trials too.

But be patient and know that you are never alone. Jesus understands exactly where you are and what you are going through because He took upon Himself all the pains and afflictions of the world. That covers sin, that covers sadness, that covers every single little thing any of us will ever have to face. That covers the scrapes on your hands when you fell off your first bicycle. That covers the hurt you felt when you got in a fight with your best friend. Nothing is unnoticed by the Atonement of Christ. Not one thing.

The words of the hymn "Be Still, My Soul" come to mind:

"Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side. With patience bear thy cross of grief and pain...Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

"Be still, my soul: the hour is hast'ning on when we shall be forever with the Lord, when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored...

"Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake to guide the future as he has the past..."

God is there, and He loves us, and He will be beside us every step of our journey through this mortal life. Jesus' atonement is real, and it is available to everyone. I know that when our burdens seem impossible to bear, all we need to do is turn to the Lord and He will give us strength. He will never, ever give us anything that we can not overcome.

"Be still, and know that I am God." Doctrine and Covenants 101:16; Psalms 46:10

My Testimony

Tonight, I just want to share my testimony. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church. I know that God sent His son, Jesus Christ, to atone for our sins and short-comings so that we can repent and be forgiven. I know that the Atonement isn't just for our sins, but also for our sadness and sorrows. The scriptures state that Christ took upon himself all the pains of the world, not just all the mistakes. So if we ever think that there is nobody who understands us when we feel hurt or alone, Jesus understands because he felt your hurt and loneliness before you ever did.

I also know that Christ died for us and was resurrected so we could live with God again. I know that death IS NOT THE END. There is always going to be a feeling of loss when a loved one passes away, and they will always be missed, but there is also joy in the knowledge that we will get to see them again. I know that God has a plan for us, and knows us each individually. His love is infinite and unconditional. It is there for us all, but it is up to us to come unto Him and feel of His love.

I love this gospel, and I love my life, and I thank God daily for how blessed I am. Nothing is ever perfect, nor will it ever be in this life. But as we do our part to be the best we can be, God will make up the difference. We can be perfected in Christ in the life to come! And these things I say in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I'd also like to share this quote by Elder Richard G. Scott:

"Simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings...Stay on the Lord's side, and you will win every time."

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Be Better Than Before

"The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday." -Unknown

These past few years I have come to understand just what this quote is trying to say. Some people would see this quote and think, "It's not a competition between us and our acquaintances," and they would be right. But the way I see it that it is a competition... against yourself. It doesn't matter how other people see you, but the way that you see yourself is important. The only way that we can really and truly look at ourselves with confidence and admiration is to strive to become a better person each and every day.

When I say admiration, I do not mean vainly preening in the mirror every day before school, trying too hard to look stunning. It's not about the artificial glamor that we tend to think is necessary. It's good to look well-groomed, but the admiration that I talk about is admiration of your own attitude.

Only recently have I really been able to look at myself as a confident person. And even then, there are times where I feel shy. The most outgoing, social person has days like this, I am certain. Because we are all human, and we all make mistakes, and we feel like other people are constantly judging us for them. Some people do judge, and that is unavoidable. However, the people that really care accept you for who you are and help you to become better.

The more that I accept myself and acknowledge my flaws, the more easily I can try to fix them. The more that I willingly recognize my mistakes and admit them, the happier I am. Because then other people aren't telling me what to do and pointing them out to me. I already know about them, and I've faced them, and I'm working on them. There are always going to be people that judge and try to belittle us. Just don't let yourself become that person, because it is never worth it. Ever. People make different mistakes in life. Don't trick yourself into believing that you are better than someone because they did something you would never do. You, in turn, make mistakes that they don't make.

It's hard, because we are all human. But God gave us the power to overcome hard things. He gave us His son, who atoned for our sins so that we can repent and start over. I know that God doesn't want us to pretend to be something that we are not. He wants us to see our full potential. I firmly believe that we can not see our full potential unless we are striving to come nearer to God. Pray! Heavenly Father wants to hear from you. The confidence that God gives to his children as they come unto Him is true beauty. And when we have that, we can understand that it really doesn't matter what other people think. We just need to lift up others, and surround ourselves with those who will do the same for us.

God doesn't want this earth life to become a competition between us and our acquaintances. We aren't competitors, we are brothers and sisters working to return to our Heavenly Father some day. I know that this is true! I love the gospel. I say that a lot, but I don't think I could ever say it enough. And I know without a doubt in my mind that God is there for me and for anyone else who seeks Him. He loves me as He loves all of His children. He wants me to become the best that I can be, and that is all.

In short, just be yourself! Because as Dr. Seuss has said, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."