Testimony: Line Upon Line

Hey! It's been a while. But we had some talks in Sacrament Meeting a couple weeks ago that inspired me to bear my testimony the following week, and I think it's a good idea to share part of that here. The Sacrament Meeting was all about experiences over the year that have contributed to our testimonies. A few of my experiences are very special to me, so I'm only going to share a few here. But I hope that it can somehow help you see the hand of God in your own life. I wrote in my journal before making this post, so some of this is taken directly from that entry.

Let's start with the reason I started this blog: my grandmother passed away. At the time, that didn't seem like the reason I started this blog...but looking back it really was. It was easily one of the biggest defining moments in my life, and I needed someplace to express myself. I grew up very close to my grandma, and so it was very hard for me. I really struggled for the rest of the year, and I was probably even a little difficult to be around at times. Well, the day after she passed away the reality of it all hit me. I was up in my room, crying like I had been for hours, not knowing what to do. So I said a prayer asking for comfort, or guidance, or something to help me through, and the words to the song "Fix You" by Coldplay got stuck in my head. I felt like I should turn it on, so I did, and as I listen to the words I felt peace envelop me. THAT IS THE INSTANT THAT I KNEW GOD KNEW ME, AND HE LOVED ME, WITHOUT A DOUBT. It was like He was speaking to me through the song. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

My cousins and I having one of many sleep-overs with my angel grandmother.

If you've followed my blog in the past, you might recognize this story. I wrote about it a few years ago (and if you'd like to hear more about my testimony from that experience, you can read that post here). But what fewer people know is an event that happened a few weeks later. I don't recall the exact timeline--it could have even been a few months--but regardless, the loss of my grandma and the resultant grief was still fresh in my heart. I was on a field trip with my choir to sing in the state competition, and while we were out I started to get a pain in my chest. By the time we got back to school, it hurt to even breathe deeply and move my arms. It was a sickness brought on by stress that ended up keeping me from school for a few days until it finally went away. But before I could go home that day that it came on, before I could go cry like I so wanted to, I had to get through my Musical Theater class. I had used up my last excused absence in that class to go to my grandma's funeral, so I was stuck. I felt tears well up in my eyes as we all disbanded to rehearse our parts and I was assigned to a group to practice a musical number--something I'd been hoping against all hope that wouldn't happen.

That's when my loving choir director and Musical Theater co-teacher called me into her office. She told me that she could tell something was bothering m, and I broke down. I told her that I could hardly breathe deeply, and that ever since my grandma had passed away I just didn't feel like I could be happy. She knew exactly what to say and reassured me, but also told me that it wasn't good to remain too unhappy for too long. Years later, it's a moment that we both clearly remember. I'm sure she was prompted to reach out to me. I KNOW that God truly is mindful of us all. It might seem like an insignificant experience, but it wasn't to me. God is in the details of our lives, and if we just look for Him and the blessings He gives us, we will come to recognize Him in moments like this one.

I'll continue from this experience in no particular order. Another time that strengthened my testimony came right after I got my mission call. (I GOT MY MISSION CALL AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm going to Madagascar Antananarivo, and I could not be more thrilled.) Well, actually I guess it started a little bit before that. Satan was attacking me relentlessly. He was trying to convince me that I wasn't worthy to serve a mission. He tried this in a number of ways, and still sometimes creeps into my mind with new ideas of how I could be unworthy to serve. I was so upset, because I really didn't think I'd done anything wrong! But I had a lot of doubts thanks to Satan, and so I set up a time to meet with my bishop--just to counsel with him and tell him what I was going through. I told him how unworthy I felt, even though I believed I'd done nothing wrong, and he simply said, "I believe you." Those three words had so much power. He helped me understand that Satan really didn't want me to serve a mission, and because he couldn't tempt me enough to get me to commit the sins that would keep me from going he was attacking my mind. I felt so reassured, and everything became clear. I was so at peace the next few days, and I felt the Spirit testify to me of the truth that I was worthy to serve.

Me with my mission call (and my cute brother)

But after a few days, the doubts slowly started to trickle back. That's when I felt like I should read my patriarchal blessing, and a phrase about worthiness stuck out to me. It talked about how I understand the importance of being worthy, and suddenly this whole ordeal made so much sense to me. I couldn't fathom why Satan was attacking me in this way when I knew I was worthy, but it's because worthiness is so important to me. Satan attacks the things we love most and tries to hit us in our weakest spots, and in that moment I came to realize that truth. But the cool thing is that God can make weak things become strong unto us--our weaknesses He can turn into strengths. So I turned to God even more than I had been, and really tried to put good habits in motion in my life. Once again, I felt the Spirit confirm to me that I was worthy and that I was doing what God wanted me to do. Maybe worthiness isn't how Satan attacks you. But be aware that he goes after your weakest points (if you want proof, here's an example of another time Satan attacked me in a similar way). Understand yourself, and have a strong relationship with God. That relationship with God is the MOST IMPORTANT THING. With God, you can not fail. With God, you can overcome everything.

I have so many more experiences that have led me to my testimony, but I'm just going to leave you with these two for now. My "testimony catalogue" is long and growing every day. I testify to you that God knows you! He loves you! He is mindful of you! And every experience in your life is an opportunity for Him to show you just how good the gospel is. Let Him. He will bring you the truest joy. He will make you more than you could ever make yourself.

Honor Your Hero

Today is Mother's Day in America. Whenever I think about Mother's Day, there's just so much I want to say! I'm not sure where to begin. So I guess I'll start with my mother.

My mom is funny. My mom is hard working. She's always there for me. She's compassionate. She's loving. She listens, and she cares. The house isn't always clean, and sometimes the day is so busy we just have mac n' cheese for dinner, but it's OK. Because we never are left doubting that my mom is trying her best to be there for us. She has priorities, and she knows that sometimes certain things have to be sacrificed in order to bring about better things. I love her so much more than she will ever know.

Most of all, my mom is the biggest example in my life. She has such a strong testimony of the gospel! I've learned so much because of her. She's my go-to person, and my very best friend.

In Alma chapter 56 verses 47 and 48, it says:

47. ...Yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

48. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.

I love those verses! They are so true. Nobody will ever have an influence over our lives as much as our mothers will.

With that being said, some people don't have a strong mother figure in their family. Or perhaps their mother is gone a lot of the time, so that motherly influence comes from somewhere else. This last general conference, Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared a talk entitled, "I Have Given You an Example." In his talk, he shard how two of the biggest influences in his life were his grandmother and wife, not his mother.

My mom is my hero. She's such an example to me! Whether you have a mother or a grandmother, an aunt or a sister, or even a neighbor who is your example, let them know how much you appreciate them. So today, honor whoever your hero is. Mother's Day is the day to celebrate those who guide you and lift you up.

Some people might have circumstances where they don't feel like they have a motherly figure in their life. They might feel completely alone. But always remember that we have the Savior, Jesus Christ. His love is unconditional, and he knows our infinite worth. So if you don't feel like you can turn to someone around you, turn to Jesus and thank Him for all He has done for you. Jesus is also my hero. He is so selfless and has the purest love. I know that the ultimate goal I could ever have would be to become like Him.

I am so thankful for my life. I am so blessed, and I recognize that. Sure, I have hard times, and things don't always go my way, but I know that the Lord's way is so much better than my way. I trust Him completely, and know that He has a wonderful plan in store for me and each of His beloved sons and daughters here on earth. He knows who I am, and He knows who each of us is. He will never leave us alone. God is also my hero.

Today remember your heroes. They are always there for you, and want you to know how much they love you. So show them your love in return! Because they will never ever leave you alone. They will help you and teach you and lift you up. They will encourage you to become your best self. Remember that. Never forget that. Every person is loved more than they can comprehend.

And Always Remember Him

Tomorrow is Easter. We live in a world where Easter has evolved from a Christian holiday to a holiday of Easter bunnies and egg hunts. We need to remember the symbolism that bunnies and eggs bring to the holiday, not the games they present to the holiday. Easter is a time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The eggs and the bunnies represent new life; just as through Christ, each of us can be resurrected and have a "new life."

In Seminary we were recently studying in 3 Nephi chapter 18 of the Book of Mormon. In verse 7, the word "remember" is used twice, and "remembrance" is used once. Christ is ministering unto the Nephites and telling them of the ordinance of the sacrament. The sacrament symbolizes the blood and body of Christ. We are told in the sacrament prayers (Doctrine & Covenants 20: 77,79) that if we always remember Him, and take upon us His name, we will have His spirit to be with us.

Photo Credit:galenawardyw.blogspot.com

I was asked a while ago whether I knew what the most important word in the English language was. Aafter talking to a friend, we decided that it was probably the word "no," just because there is so much in our day and age that we have to say "no" to. But after a discussion, we came to realized that "remember" is one of the most important words.

History is recorded so that we can remember the past and learn from it. Planners are used in school to help us remember assignments. Alarms are set so that we can remember important events. Notes are kept so that we can remember our grocery lists. Our lives revolve around remembering the various tasks we have to complete. How fitting that "remember" should be the most important word.

Helaman 5:12 reads,

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yes, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build the cannot fall.

We are told, using that most important word, to remember our Redeemer, even Jesus Christ, the son of God. We are not told once, but twice. And in that chapter alone, the word "remember" is used 15 times. Of all things to remember, Christ is the most important. It is through Him and Him alone that we can be saved.

 

There is a new short video that was made by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints called "Because of Him." It is my new favorite movie, even though it's only slightly longer than two minutes. Every time I watch it, I get chills and can feel the Spirit so strong. It illustrates how Christ lived and died for us, then was resurrected on the third day. It shows how it is because of Him we have what we do in this life. The hashtag #BecauseofHim is being used on facebook, twitter, Google+, pretty much everywhere. I challenge you to use #BecauseofHim in a post, a tweet, something today or tomorrow, followed by a blessing Christ has brought into your life. I testify that there is nothing we have, no blessing given to us, that is not because of Him. He has given us everything. We owe our lives to our older brother, Jesus. He atoned for each and every one of our sins and shortcomings. Our pains and our afflictions. If He could do that and remember each one of us, we can remember Him.

A girl in my seminary class said this,

"Sometimes you'll slip up, and you'll fall, but He'll always be there to catch you."

Nothing is more true! There is a story of  rock climber, Alan Czenkusch, who was climbing belay with a friend. He slipped and fell, yanking out the three mechanical supports that were holding him up. Because he was belaying, he was attached to his friend by a rope. His friend was able to stop Czenkusch's fall by hugging the rock wall tight enough, and that saved Czenkusch's life. In an interview he said, "Don saved my life. How do you respond to a guy like that? Give him a used climbing rope for a Christmas present? No, you remember him. You always remember him."

Christ saved our lives. We need to always remember him. Know that as we climb up our spiritual rock walls in life, we climb in belay with the Lord. If we fall and our supports come out, He will spread his arms and catch us. How can we thank Jesus Christ? We always remember him.

This Easter, know that the holiday reaches beyond the fluffy rabbits and colored eggs. Know that it is a celebration of our older brother, Jesus Christ, the one who saved our lives.